Monkey butt, aka chafing, is what happens when you sit on a motorcycle all day long without aerating your seat with sufficient frequency. Many people suffer from this very uncomfortable condition and topical remedy manufacturers have learned to capitalize on the reddened rump disorder. There are monkey butt powders and monkey butt cremes and monkey butt jellies and monkey butt jams. None of these things interest me because I’d rather avoid monkey butt from the beginning. Let me tell you about my anti-monkey butt jeans.
I rode a small cruiser from Texas to Vermont in about five days and monkey butt was an issue each day before dinner. The bike’s size restricted my luggage to two small bags and a second pair of jeans just wouldn’t fit. So, I wore my favorite Levi’s jeans each day and laundered them a couple of times along the way.
Before leaving Vermont I bought a pair of Wrangler jeans because my luggage space quadrupled when I replaced the cruiser with a Goldwing. If you haven’t worn Wranglers before, you might be in for an inexpensive treat. They don’t fit everyone but if you can find a pair that fits, get three of them.
For the first few days on the Goldwing I wore my Wranglers I had no chafing issues at all. I guessed it might be the new motorcycle’s seat so I performed an unscientific experiment and switched back to Levi’s for a day. The chafing returned. The following day, a 700-mile day, I wore the Wranglers again and suffered no monkey butt.
Maybe it’s the cheaper, looser-knit Wrangler denim. Maybe it’s a different thread or a different cut or maybe it’s something else. I don’t know much about denim or jeans or skin but I know that I won’t ride in Levi’s anymore. If you suffer from monkey butt, try changing your pants.